OLD TWEETS II
Some Tweets may have trouble loading. Reload this page to view them all.
Some Tweets may have trouble loading. Reload this page to view them all.
Wow Joe Biden gets older by the day
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) November 8, 2020
Favorite movie in the Planes: Fire and Rescuniverse? It's gotta be Cars (2006) for me.
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) November 5, 2020
Well, it's looking like the election this year is coming down to either Donald Trump or Joe Biden
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) November 4, 2020
Biden and Trump have been in a vicious and unrelenting battle for months, but I bet the make-up sex is going to be incredible
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) November 3, 2020
Sorry @peta I am 100% going to eat this turtle. https://t.co/CNpQS73qk1
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) November 2, 2020
Spooky Halloween Fact: America was built on an ancient Indian burial ground
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) October 31, 2020
I’m having the same problem https://t.co/CxgadRSFbv pic.twitter.com/QyQozZIKvi
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) October 30, 2020
Lasso of Truth (2020) pic.twitter.com/O7hTLjaHfn
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) October 29, 2020
Hoping they expand the Zapruder Cinematic Universe sometime soon if you know what I mean
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) October 28, 2020
I cried hysterically the day I watched Marly & Me and everyday since and also prior
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) October 27, 2020
Gonna be so weird when this pandemic ends and we all go back to partying, attending concerts, brushing our teeth, etc.
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) October 23, 2020
Remember that movie where if you try to watch it you die in 7 days?
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) October 22, 2020
Tenet
Whatever happened to predictability? The milkman, the paperboy, the evening TV? (Serious replies only)
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) October 20, 2020
Not proud to admit this but when 10year old me first heard the line “are we human or are we dancer?” on the radio I felt genuine existential dread
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) October 19, 2020
Finally decided to start reading the news and I now completely understand why everyone is scared and angry. pic.twitter.com/q5kKdBcXs7
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) October 14, 2020
Welp... 2020 is officially cancelled 😒 pic.twitter.com/8Kn2vyIqYb
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) October 26, 2020
Don’t talk to me about blacking out until you get “Stephen King writing Cujo”-level blackout
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) March 21, 2019
Hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave pic.twitter.com/kP75xT97RK
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) November 7, 2020
Interesting how Grammar Nazi and Grammar Police mean the same thing 🧐🤔
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) November 4, 2020
If I was in public office, this would be my first act of prison reform:
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) November 4, 2020
liquid soap.
You only make 6 figures per year??? I make at least 1 figure every day😎
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) November 3, 2020
Every time I meet someone who buys into conspiracy theories, I try to out-crazy them.
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) November 2, 2020
Conspiracy Theorist: The government is producing chemtrails in the atmosphere to control the weather!
Me: Dude... The government isn't even real...
Blows their fucking minds every time.
This woman outside my building is holding a sign that says "every time I say 'now' another person dies of AIDS" and she's standing there saying "Now...Now...Now..."
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) October 31, 2020
I am freaking out like STOP SAYING IT!!
Trump's latest immigration policy is sure to separate the men from the boys
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) October 30, 2020
Couldn't afford a prenup so my wife and I are embroidering His and Hers on everything we own
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) October 29, 2020
Diarrhea https://t.co/ssTN3Snvn7
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) October 28, 2020
There are two types of people in the world: Those who wipe the piss off public toilet seats even though it was already there before you got there because you don't want the guy who comes in after you to think it was you, and those who sleep well at night
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) October 24, 2020
Whenever someone on this app says "you guys I'm screaming!!" I immediately call the police to report the incident.
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) October 23, 2020
Not sure I "understand" why everybody "says" I text "too sarcastically"
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) October 21, 2020
Ok wow did not have this one on my 2020 bingo card pic.twitter.com/GY8iDfueFa
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) October 19, 2020
Oh crap, we forgot to choose a Song of the Summer this year, didn’t we?
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) October 16, 2020
Next debate should be done over Zoom so we can mute Trump. And whoever figures out how to work their camera first wins
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) September 30, 2020
We didn’t match😒 pic.twitter.com/o3Pd7dNzkz
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) March 14, 2019