OLD TWEETS iv A true magician never reveals his salary— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) December 16, 2015 Not that anyone asked, but I've never kept a dream journal before— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) December 4, 2015 tbt when every1 played with webkinz and then like the chef or something started slicing the heads off the animals so we were like ok no more— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) December 4, 2015 Apparently the new iPhone is gonna come with the crack already on the screen to save us the trouble— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) November 14, 2015 If you're out at dinner and finish your meal way before everyone else, a nice way to save embarrassment is to shout "I win!!"— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) November 9, 2015 Do you want to take my poll?— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) November 4, 2015 @lyndseyydelouya proudest moment of my life🙂😢 pic.twitter.com/gTHqnUtM4r— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) October 24, 2015 so college is cool and everything but apparently we have to do work here also???!!!— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) October 20, 2015 Weezy F. Baby and the F, believe it or not, is for Francis— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) October 9, 2015 I can't wait 'til I'm old and it's socially acceptable to bring a chair into the shower— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) September 29, 2015 What's cool about college is that every party is an Eyes Wide Shut themed party— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) August 29, 2015 What's the deal with all these fireworks tonight?— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) July 5, 2015 Just saw Avengers 2! Easter egg: if you stay for after the credits............they kick you out of the theater.— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) April 30, 2015 Darius McCray from Family Matters got arrested for not paying child support. I guess Family Doesn't Matters!— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) March 27, 2015 #50shades was so good I stayed through the credits. But that's also cuz I wanted to for everyone to leave before I stood up...😁— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) February 13, 2015 To everyone who's still tweeting "I haven't showered all year!"... it's getting a little gross at this point— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) January 12, 2015 whatever sick pervert has that voodoo doll of me out there, please stop doing that--right now is a really inappropriate time.— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) December 13, 2015 " just trying to keep their eyes as wet as their vaginas"- an actual real quote from @NicholasSparks on what inspires him to write— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) December 4, 2015 Hey @neontrees I'm pretty sure all of EVERYONE'S friends are different people. You're not special— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) November 16, 2015 need a recommendation on a chipmunks movie. please help its impt. thanks.— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) November 11, 2015 Sometimes you gotta take a step back and realize how lucky you are— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) November 6, 2015 what sucks about wearing a fake butt as your halloween costume is that everyone thinks its your real butt— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) October 30, 2015 Marty Mcfly had so many disturbing interactions with his mother throughout those films that Michael J Fox is still shaking from it today— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) October 21, 2015 I heard Madonna sucks at improv. I guess she's more of a material girl— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) October 19, 2015 holy shit. last night was a blur!!!! but thats probably because i forgot to put in my contacts— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) October 4, 2015 The cover art for Rick Ross's Black Dollar mixtape looks like a chipotle bag. pic.twitter.com/Z2XR8BLU0N— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) September 4, 2015 You know a person is wealthy when their paperweight is an object that was bought with the intent to be a paperweight— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) August 26, 2015 @ChipotleTweets one of your employees made a rip in my burrito. I'm not saying I'm gonna sue but I definitely am demanding compensation.— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) May 23, 2015 You ever think someone is missing the lower half of their body and then realize, oh wait, they're just wearing camo pants— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) April 9, 2015 Fuck. @FATJEW stole my tweet idea😕 pic.twitter.com/OBZEHTlHfg— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) February 13, 2015 I bet nobody likes talking to Drake on the phone because he always records their conversations and puts it in all of his songs.— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) February 5, 2015 Some teacher just farted in the halls then saw me staring at her, shrugged her shoulders, and said "Mondays..." 😂😂— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) January 5, 2015 1 2 3 4 5 6 Click here for Ryan’s Twitter Highlights Back to Ryan’s socials
