OLD TWEETS v

My iPhone knows me so well pic.twitter.com/2wA28oKWJS
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) January 4, 2015

Just lost my V in apartment 23
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) December 7, 2014

"Hold me back, bro!"- My Dick, to my underwear
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) December 5, 2014

But who broke the internet more? #BreakTheInternet pic.twitter.com/pA6ppi6Ayg
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) November 13, 2014

not saying I'm NOT cuckoo for cocoa puffs, I'm just saying I am probably more cuckoo for like a froot loops or a captain crunch.
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) November 15, 2014

If someone told me that today the school was doing a bag search before letting us in the building, I wouldve left my huge black dildo @ home
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) November 7, 2014

yik yak is twitter's gross, disease-riddled cousin.
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) October 28, 2014

An orthodox rabbi just said to me "why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly."
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) October 18, 2014

Happy Yom Kippur y'all! Officially can't use electronics startingg...
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) October 3, 2014

today i got yelled at by a lady who was hired by the school district to stand around and yell at kids.
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) October 7, 2014

american educators SHOULD be teaching us important life skills like how 2 do taxes, how 2 build a resume, & how 2 not be afraid of the dark.
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) September 23, 2014

finally done with my first day of senior year. so great to get home, take my bra off, and just relax.
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) September 4, 2014

when it comes to getting women, i don't know how i'll ever be able to compete with a dude wearing a UFC shirt.
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) August 18, 2014

don't judge a book by its cover; judge it for being a fucking book! #NERD!
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) July 29, 2014

#hillseastfightclub
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) May 22, 2014

colleges are probably so used to seeing kids get a 4 or 5 on an AP exam. if you really wanna show ur individuality, get a 1 or a 2 #mylogic!
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) May 8, 2014

Waddup pimps! This is Santa. Ryan fell asleep and left his Twitter open. This pussy ass bitch is getting coal. #ItsAWonderfulLifeBitch🎅
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) December 25, 2014

Apparently there's an app on the iPhone that allows you to make calls!?!
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) December 5, 2014

hey guys im ordering fake IDs! if anyone wants one just give me $100 in school tomorrow & i'll pocket it & blame it on some company in China
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) November 12, 2014

When a party is dead but the neighbor still complains like "hey can you keep the noise down, I heard a pin drop"
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) November 15, 2014

There are kids in our school who look like they shop for clothes at party city all year round. I wonder what they'll wear on Halloween..
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) October 29, 2014

This Neil deGrasse Tyson parody account is hilarious: @neiltyson
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) October 25, 2014

How is a person supposed to demand respect with a title like "Headmaster" and not get laughed at? #DidntThinkThatOneThrough
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) October 17, 2014

sorry i wanted to tweet "...Now!" but the holiday had started and i couldnt... didnt really plan that one out so well.
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) October 5, 2014

Yo #fuck the lady at chipotle who caught me putting soda in my water cup.
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) September 24, 2014

Helpful Pajama Day Tip: don't show up to school in pajamas you would actually go to sleep in.
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) September 15, 2014

If "getting a homerun" is an analogy for sex, then anal sex should be called "getting a homerun in backyard baseball"
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) August 30, 2014

Why do doctors think they can hand me a cup and imma just piss on command?
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) August 14, 2014

this The Lumiere Brothers porn is freaky because OMG that penis is coming right at us!!!!
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) July 8, 2014

EVERYONE GET OFF THE ROADS RIGHT NOW CUZ I JUST GOT MY LICENSE!!! 🚙💥🚓
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) May 15, 2014

OMG someone just got hurt on ridiculousness!
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) April 26, 2014

The worst part of a hangover is the nausea and redundant sequels.
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) April 20, 2014